Dear Darling: goodbyes: seeing through the blurred vision.

6 months ago from today I said goodbye to my best friend and watched as he walked down the steps from my porch to his car and drove off for the last time for at least the next two years, taking part of my heart with him as he left for england.

2 months ago I walked out of my high school knowing many of the wonderful people I’ve met and friendships I made would end right there, regardless of how much I wanted it to be otherwise.

3 weeks ago I went into the airport with my best friend since seventh grade, her parents, and little sister as she boarded her flight to San Diego and eventually Hawaii. I left with only her parents and sister along with a few extra tears, streaks of mascara on my face, and a prayer that I will be able to fly to Hawaii sometime so I won’t have to wait an entire year to see her again.

Every week at least a couple of my friends leave for somewhere around the world. Whether for school or more often an LDS mission, I know I won’t see them for quite a while.

At first it made me bitter, very bitter in fact. I was angry, why would my Heavenly Father give me such incredible relationships if He was only going to take them away!? That didn’t seem very fair.

Everyone told me, “This is what happens. You make new friends, you’ll be fine.”

Although I know I will make new friends and I do want to make new friends, it still is incredibly difficult and I’m still in that downtime between the ‘goodbyes’ and ‘hellos’.

Then it hit me. These extraordinary people I love weren’t mine to keep. They never were really mine. The memories, the friendships, yes those are mine. But the people are Heavenly Father’s and He needs them to do other things and help other people.

He blessed me with them for as long as He could, but now He needs them back. Some will forever be separated from me, and some only for a short time. (A short time in the long scheme of things that is).

With that perspective having them in my life as we grew together and helped each other was truly a gigantic blessing. I truly believe I was blessed with some of the best people this world has to offer in my life, because they were simply the people I needed, and --each in their own way-- they needed me.

So next time you have a hard time seeing why something is the way it is, think about how your vision may be blurred. Maybe from resentment, anger even, or maybe just the tears in your eyes as you watch someone you love, leave you.

God has a plan for each of us, a flawless plan, completely unrivaled by that of the world. Trust Him. No matter how hard it is. It is worth it.

And while you're at it, appreciate the people who are in your life. show them you love them, tell them even. I have become increasingly aware of the many people in my life who are still here and spectacular as ever. i am so blessed, and so are you.