so this is life.

"Not everything is supposed to become something beautiful and long-lasting. Sometimes people come into your life to show you what is right and what is wrong, to show you who you can be, to teach you to love yourself, to make you feel better for a little while, or to just be someone to walk with at night and spill your life to. Not everyone is going to stay forever, and we still have to keep on going and thank them for what they've given us."

Well I realized I only post here when I have some profound thoughts or need some way to arrange my thoughts, but then again my mind is always running and frequently dives into cycles of deep thought throughout the day. This quote [above] sums things up pretty decently. (although summing up is really an impossible feat)

Today I got a new swimsuit, shirt and skirt for Europe, sunglasses, &...guys: Europe? 

I leave a week from tomorrow morning..WHAT? 

I'm not packed.

I don't even know what I'm going to pack. 

I still have to take an Econ final (yiiiikes)

I have 4 more Econ assignments & a paper. 

I have 12 more online quizzes for my class & 5 days of class. 

2 days of work.

a handful of goodbyes (really only a handful like I'm going to be gone 6 weeks and not that many people will notice..haha)

But hey, this should be exciting! 

(I should be so much more excited but I'm so nervous) 

^real talk, but I will work on the getting excited bit. 

breathing all the air

I don't have words enough to describe sufficiently the feelings and events of the past handful of months. It's been too long as always seems to happen.

It has given me more of an appreciation for how interconnected we are as human beings, how there are so many things you can't plan for, how words like 'crazy' and 'stressed' sometimes just don't hold a candle to the weight or meaning you need them to hold.

I've gained more of an appreciation for how beautiful life is, and for how much I love being here.

& with everything happening, including the breakdowns, I can honestly say I am just so happy to be where I am and (ramping up the cliche-ness) I would not give any of this up. It's semesters & terms like this that define my 20 years of life.

//late nights laughing and telling stories (with more details than anyone ever was curious to know) with my roommates who are seriously incredible
//heartbreaking news of every kind
//late nights at the HBLL (library)
//rock-climbing stress-relief
//walks in the sunshine (or snow..or mud-rain?)
//phone calls upon phone calls
//concerts which drown out all of the other feelings. I love concerts.
//my very best friend's beautiful wedding
//not enough sleep but not regretting that because the awake time is so good
//& sometimes not enough sleep because awake time isn't good and it keeps me from sleeping
//too many nights on a couch
//lots of hours in the car, any car
//15 plants in my little apartment then taken to my bedroom window
//long showers because the end of the shower generally means facing the day
//serious appreciation for people who make you laugh
//& for people who know little things about you, even silly things like how cleaning my room is therapeutic or my dislike of eggs
//hiking in Zion National Park with quality friends
//warm sweaters in rainy weather with my family
//snapchat videos from friends upon friends
//random strangers from an economics class
//priesthood blessings
//& the fact that with downs come ups and there's no good without the bad

It all interconnects to make up my life which I love as a whole, even though some of the days are great some of the days are terrible and some of the days are like Utah weather which may be sunny car-washing weather in the morning and pouring thunderstorm in the afternoon.


There's more pictures but let's just look at these ones.